Sorry we've been slacking on the blog lately - too busy eating/sitting. We thought we'd share some cooking tips with you, obese stylee.
1. When you open a new packet of food, you might as well eat the whole lot, e.g. 12 pack of yorkshire puddings.
2. When you're drunk, frequently eating is adament. Do not include fruit or vegetables in drunk snacks.
3. Same goes for days when you're feeling hungover, ill or mentally fragile.
4. If the food on your plate is mainly beige and gold (pastry, chips, fried goods, batter, bread etc), you have succeeded in obesifying your meal.
5. If your meal takes more than 20 minutes to cook, feel free to snack until it's time.
6. Same goes for waiting for your takeaway to arrive.
7. Most diet and health experts advise eating little and frequently. We advise eating loads, frequently.
8. If more than two portions of vegetables make an appearence in your dinner, you are allowed a beige/golden second dinner later on. This is allowed even if you didn't consume the vegetables. The fact that they were on your plate was probably traumatic enough.
9. If you're worried your meal doesn't look big enough in the frying pan/saucepan/baking tray etc, add more. Better safe than sorry and hungry.
10. If the packet says it contains two servings, it actually means one. Double all your ingredients for an Emma and Georgina sized meal.
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